joancrawford: This is AppAAALing! Look! THIS woman cla

Hollywood Royalty..... (

joancrawford) wrote,
@ 2002-01-24 14:51:00

Current mood:

enraged

This is AppAAALing! Look! THIS woman claims to be ME!
Fucking SLUT!!! HOW DARE SHE? LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT THIS WOMAN! THIS...THIS...IMPOSTOR! HOW DARE SHE CLAIM THE GOD-LIKE STATUS OF THE QUEEN OF HOLLYWOOD! HOW DARE SHE TRY AND STEAL A PIECE OF MY THUNDER!!
WELL LET ME TELL YOU, MISSY! RIGHT ALONG WITH THE THUNDER COMES THE LIGHTNING!!! PREPARE FOR THE WORST, TROLLUP!! THIS BOLT OF BEAUTY IS GONNA STRIKE YOU DOWN! I'VE FOUGHT BIGGER MONSTERS THAN YOU IN HOLLYWOOD FOR YEARS! I KNOW HOW TO WIN THE HARD WAY!!!

(Post a new comment)

	cracks knuckles! durga_daggr 2002-01-24 12:09 pm UTC (link)
	THAT FUCKING CUNT! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: cracks knuckles! joancrawford 2002-01-24 12:22 pm UTC (link)
	Oh! I'm SO glad you're here! Mommy Dearest has been stressed all day long, and she wants to have a bubble bath! Now, you go grab the bath salts, and meet me by the hot tub in twenty minutes, okay? Love, J.C. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

;D -

durga_daggr, 2002-01-24 12:28 pm UTC

Re: ;D - (Anonymous), 2002-02-21 10:18 am UTC

Re: ;D -

durga_daggr, 2002-02-21 10:55 am UTC

Re: ;D - (Anonymous), 2002-02-23 09:19 am UTC

LADIES. -

gothiqueer, 2002-02-24 06:36 pm UTC

oh yeah? - (Anonymous), 2002-02-27 10:30 am UTC

FANTASTICO -

gothiqueer, 2002-02-27 11:26 am UTC

tinacrawford
2002-01-24 12:14 pm UTC (link)

It's okay Mommie... we'll manage.....
we'll manage
we'll manage
we'll manage

*twitch*

Guess what? I got on good behavior today, and got internet privlages from the Carmelite nuns.
It just shows you what a good bottle of vodka, a little pepsi, and a tounge that can flicker at 75MPH can get you in this world.

I shall be home soon mommie, I'm looking forward to meeting your new husband, Mr. Steele.

Love,
Darling Tina

(Reply to this)

	Outrageous! robby 2002-01-24 12:20 pm UTC (link)
	She's a pale, vapid excuse for any sort of Hollywood Royalty! Time to call your lawyers, Miss Crawford. Why does it take a crisis for you to speak out? I've missed you. Can I drop by soon and see to your cabana? (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Outrageous!

joancrawford
2002-01-24 12:26 pm UTC (link)

ROBBY BABY! Oh, How I've missed you SO! Yes, do please come over! Mommy's oh so lonely...
And I realize that I don't update as often as I'd like to, but I've just been so busy with contracts, lawyers, getting Tina to kick the Valium habit, rubbing elbows with high society...
And today of all days, I decide to make time to say hello to all of my friends, and my attention was brought to this imposter of a SLEAZY PORNO SLUT!! Oh, Robby, But I've been such a poor hostess! How are you, Darling?
Love, J.C.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

robby, 2002-01-24 12:33 pm UTC

Re: -

joancrawford, 2002-01-24 12:52 pm UTC

More cut and paste from superfly_ww - (Anonymous), 2002-02-21 10:21 am UTC

Re: Outrageous! -

kaputla, 2002-02-10 10:51 am UTC

Re: Outrageous! -

joancrawford, 2002-02-10 06:28 pm UTC

Re: Outrageous! -

kaputla, 2002-02-12 07:25 am UTC

Re: Outrageous! -

tinacrawford, 2002-02-15 10:33 pm UTC

Re: Outrageous! -

joancrawford, 2002-02-16 04:25 am UTC

Re: Outrageous! -

kaputla, 2002-02-17 09:03 am UTC

	You are off the list and still banned BOZO (Anonymous) 2002-02-22 01:37 pm UTC (link)
	Not a chance o vile one You chose the drug hag Fionapipe And concerning your latest transgressions (http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml?replyto=32027679) Get a LIFE (http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml?replyto=32137878) Keep your mouth shut and stop talking about my brilliance (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: You are off the list and still banned BOZO -

crackpipe, 2002-02-25 12:33 pm UTC

Only a loser - (Anonymous), 2002-02-27 10:34 am UTC

you hide these little remarks were no one else can find you -

crackpipe, 2002-02-27 12:24 pm UTC

	joancrawford 2002-01-24 12:23 pm UTC (link)
	Tina, Daaaa-a-a-a-arling! I'm so glad to hear from you! I know! How about you and I go out for a nice night on the town, just the two of us, yes? Love, J.C. (Reply to this)

	kai_ta_loipa 2002-01-24 01:27 pm UTC (link)
	EW! what a skanky ho! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: joancrawford 2002-01-24 02:03 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you for your support. I have enclosed an autographed photo of myself. It makes a fine addition to any mantle! Love, J.C. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: -

kai_ta_loipa, 2002-01-24 02:05 pm UTC

	violetsnjazz 2002-01-24 01:45 pm UTC (link)
	Dear Miss Crawford, You are the benevolent goddess of Hollywood, you are NOT to be fucked with. Everyone knows who the REAL Joan Crawford is. You know how to compete - AND WIN! Make that imposter sit down until she eats her entire rare steak dinner of words! Your loving fan, Bridget (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re:

joancrawford
2002-01-24 01:59 pm UTC (link)

Madame Bridget,
You are truly a blessing upon my friends page, and a statuesque example of femenine grace and power! I applaud you and all of your efforts. Rest well, knowing that the offending swine shall be dealt a swift and fatal blow with the hammer of divine hollywood justice. I hope this christmas card finds you well. I have enclosed an autographed photo of myself, I imagine it would look quite dashing on anyone's mantle. Good luck in the acting biz, give 'em hell!
Love, J.C.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

tinacrawford
2002-07-11 03:44 pm UTC (link)

Correction bitch...

I

am the benevolent godess of Hollywood, and it would do you best to recgonize, HOE

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: -

joancrawford, 2002-07-11 04:22 pm UTC

(no subject) -

tinacrawford, 2002-07-11 04:57 pm UTC

Re: -

violetsnjazz, 2002-07-12 07:17 am UTC

Re: -

joancrawford, 2002-07-12 11:09 am UTC

	laughingsal 2002-01-24 01:58 pm UTC (link)
	I despise her every bit as much as you! (She is better looking, however.) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: joancrawford 2002-01-24 02:08 pm UTC (link)
	That's strange, coming from a woman with more hair in between her eyebrows than on her numerous lover's legs... Love, J.C. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

laughingsal, 2002-01-25 06:35 am UTC

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2002-02-19 04:38 pm UTC

(Deleted post)

Stalk This, Linda - (Anonymous), 2002-02-21 10:26 am UTC

(Deleted post)

and let you troll for IP#s Linda? - (Anonymous), 2002-02-22 01:28 pm UTC

(Deleted post)

I AM THE LAST WORD - (Anonymous), 2002-02-27 10:38 am UTC

	poopoo2u 2002-01-24 03:24 pm UTC (link)
	What a damn Whore. No one will ever compair to you!!! love erin (Reply to this) (Thread)

	poopoo2u 2002-01-24 03:24 pm UTC (link)
	oh yeah put me on your friends list I feel unloved hehe (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

robby, 2002-01-24 03:56 pm UTC

ME???!!!!??? -

poopoo2u, 2002-01-24 04:00 pm UTC

Re: ME???!!!!??? -

poopoo2u, 2002-01-24 09:15 pm UTC

Stay in Cali, ALEXANDER - (Anonymous), 2002-02-19 04:43 pm UTC

Re: -

joancrawford, 2002-01-25 04:38 am UTC

Ahem -

tina_tottenham, 2002-03-26 12:19 am UTC

Re: Ahem -

joancrawford, 2002-03-26 06:14 am UTC

	karmakanic 2002-01-25 03:00 am UTC (link)
	That BITCH obviously doesn't know *who* she's fucking with!!! She's like the diet pepsi version of you... flat, dull with a nasty sacchrine after-taste. I'll do everything in my power to make sure that cheap, "Joan-Crawford-wannabe-but-will-never-be", floozy, whore is ridden out of town on a rail! You can count on that! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: joancrawford 2002-01-25 04:36 am UTC (link)
	Oh, Darling..you always were SO good to me. I simply adore you! Wont you come over later? We can have a couple of drinks, sit by the fire, slap Tina around...don't say no...sailor Love, J.C. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

karmakanic, 2002-02-01 01:04 am UTC

Re: -

joancrawford, 2002-02-01 04:28 am UTC

(no subject) -

karmakanic, 2002-02-01 06:17 pm UTC

Re: -

joancrawford, 2002-02-02 03:58 pm UTC

(no subject) -

tinacrawford, 2002-02-15 10:27 pm UTC

(no subject) -

karmakanic, 2002-02-17 01:00 am UTC

	(Anonymous) 2002-01-25 11:58 am UTC (link)
	I THINK you're OVERREACTING Miss Crawford!!!! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: joancrawford 2002-01-25 01:25 pm UTC (link)
	And what would YOU know about ACTING? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2002-01-26 11:25 am UTC

	kiashadow 2002-01-29 07:59 pm UTC (link)
	I love you Joan! And I love how Faye Dunaway portrayed you in Mommy Dearest; although, I think the part should have been rightyfully yours. I'm so adding you to my friends list ^_^ ~Your fan Kia (Reply to this) (Thread)

	joancrawford 2002-01-31 07:16 am UTC (link)
	Thank you, my dear! I love all of my fans, for without you, I would never be a star! TO ALL MY WONDERFUL FANS, I LOVE YOU ALL! Love, J.C. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2002-01-31 11:17 pm UTC

Re: -

joancrawford, 2002-02-01 04:28 am UTC

	frank000 2002-02-09 06:17 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry babe but I think joan_crawford is the real thing. She is Joan. Your kind of like the cheap straight to video imitation of her...sorry. (Reply to this)

	(Anonymous) 2002-02-10 10:47 am UTC (link)
	My dear Joan, You are nothing but some over prized gloryhole sitting in your trailor wishing for half the acting skills that my friend joan_crawford possesses. Pepsi-Cola would be ashamed to have your mongoloid face representing it's fine product. BOX OFFICE POISON (Reply to this)

	karmakanic 2002-02-12 02:46 pm UTC (link)
	JC, I tried to defend your honor but, the craven bitch deleted all my posts! Looks like (she?) wants to play hard-ball... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: joancrawford 2002-02-12 08:01 pm UTC (link)
	Danny, DARLING... I thank you from the bottom of my heart for defending my honor. hic If she wants to play hard, then she'll soon learn how to lose hard. hic ONLY I KNOW HOW TO hic WIN THE HARD WAY!!! SHE THINKS SHE CAN HANDLE ME? I LEARNED EARLY! Love, J.C. hic (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

tinacrawford, 2002-02-15 10:26 pm UTC

mary_fisher
2002-02-15 11:04 pm UTC (link)

Dearest Joan..

I am simply outraged by this travisty of emmence proportions.
All your fans KNOW your the queen of Hollywood and the matriarch of Pepsi-Cola.

So just ingore these phesants..

I shall be HAEVING TEH ADVENCHURS *twitch, twitch* AHEM I shall be having a little private party... Just Me, Ma, and Bobby... Your more than welcome... B.Y.O.B.!
*Bring Your Own Booze* that is, if you don't like Cognac.. I know how you just crave your pepsi-cola and vodka tornados. Oh yeah, and bring your own dildo! Lord knows I've put more miles on my collection than I have on my 1952 Jaguar roadster.

Love, Money, and skepticism forever,
Maaaaary FISHER.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: joancrawford 2002-02-16 04:22 am UTC (link)
	Dear Miss Fisher, What an honor it is to meet you! I must say I really loved the metaphors in Love in the Rinse Cycle. So symbolic! So true! Anyways, I appreciate the sympathy, and I assure you that evil will be slain immediately. Oh, and I'll bring enough dildoes to drill a hole through Tokyo! Love, J.C. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	mad_cow 2002-02-18 01:36 pm UTC (link)
	SUCK MY PUSSY YOU TURD. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: joancrawford 2002-02-18 05:36 pm UTC (link)
	Excuse ME you APPAAAAALING CREATURE OF THE BLACK LAGOON! HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME IN SUCH A FASHION! I'LL STICK MY FIST SO FAR UP YOUR FAT ASS SO FAST THAT COWPIES FLY OUT OF YOUR FOOD-ENCRUSTED MOUTH!!! (Reply to this) (Parent)

I'm gonna get you suspended Nick - (Anonymous), 2002-02-19 04:39 pm UTC

Re: I'm gonna get you suspended Nick - (Anonymous), 2002-02-23 03:31 pm UTC

I'm still here, chickenshit. -

nickzedd, 2002-03-26 12:14 am UTC

	karmakanic 2002-02-27 02:57 pm UTC (link)
	Joan, who is this annoying annonymous poster that makes links to non-sequitorial garbage? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: joancrawford 2002-02-27 09:07 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not sure, But I've disabled anonymous posting in an attempt to quell the offending simpleton's nonsensical menageries. Much Love from the J. to the Jizz-o. Love, J.C. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Thank God, they're gone! -

robby, 2002-02-28 12:35 am UTC

Re: Thank God, they're gone! -

joancrawford, 2002-02-28 08:17 am UTC

Re: Thank God, they're gone! -

robby, 2002-02-28 08:26 am UTC

Re: Thank God, they're gone! -

kaputla, 2002-03-08 09:06 am UTC

	HEY CRAWDAD: mad_cow 2002-03-26 12:01 am UTC (link)
	HOW'D YOU LIKE A COW PIE RIGHT UP YER KISSER?! I'M HERE TO TEACH YOU A LESSON! OHHHHHHH YYYYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: HEY CRAWDAD: joancrawford 2002-03-26 06:15 am UTC (link)
	I'LL TAKE THAT COW PIE AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR OVERSIZED THROAT! IF I COULD FIT MY HANDS AROUND YOUR NECK, I'D STRANGLE YOU!! BUT I'LL JUST HAVE TO SMASH YOUR FACE IN WITH THE HAMMER OF JUSTICE!! Love, J.C. (Reply to this) (Parent)

O, where is my Mommy Dearest when I need her?

secretime
2002-04-19 10:36 pm UTC (link)

Where the fuck are you, Mommy Dearest?
I am writing a paper over the QUEEN OF HOLLYWOOD and how her name and career have influened gay male slang, with delightful terms like "Joan Crawford come-fuck-me pumps" and "Joan Crawford ankle-strapped open-toed fuck me's"!
And where is Mommy Dearest?
Why, she's out sucking ass and gurgling cum and rum and rubbing shit all over her GODDAMNED SAGGING TITS.

You'll never be the soap opera star that your dazzling and talented daughter Christina is.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: O, where is my Mommy Dearest when I need her? joancrawford 2002-04-19 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	"Why, she's out sucking ass and gurgling cum and rum and rubbing shit all over her GODDAMNED SAGGING TITS." Well my dear, it's these very actions you speak of that bring my glorious name to the lips of fairys everywhere. And besides, rough sex keeps me in tip top shape! Love, J.C. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: O, where is my Mommy Dearest when I need her? -

secretime, 2002-04-19 11:44 pm UTC

Re: O, where is my Mommy Dearest when I need her? -

joancrawford, 2002-04-19 11:59 pm UTC

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