Current mood:

nostalgic

Hello dears!
I know it's been ever so long since I've written to my WONderful fans! I have just been so busy stocking up on Mohawk Vodka and writing thank you notes in response to thank you notes in response to thank you notes for the christmas cards from last year!

Speaking of the holidays, I hope you all had a simply marvelous Thanksgiving! Chrstina, Christopher, Carol Ann and I all had a nice turkey dinner followed by storytelling by a cozy fireplace. A few gin and pepsis later and I was face-down in the carpet! Oh, tis the season!

It reminded me of last Halloween, when Christina and I sat around in the dark with a flashlight, telling scary stories! She told me a positively frightening one about a man with a hook for a hand! Again, I had a few gin and pepsis and couldn't quite think (or see) straight, so I just ended up telling her about the time I tried to abort her in her crib. Ah, memories!

Speaking of abortions, I could use a good sandblasting down there. It's been a while since I've seen my toes. I've been looking into Vaginal Skin Resurfacing lately... I think I'd better secure the old sails, if you know what I mean. Time has been kind to me, but my cunt apparently works in a different media. To be quite frank, it resembles an Arby's Roast Beef and Cheddar. With extra Catalina sauce.

Well, I've got to be off... I'm scheduled to speak at a Black Mass tonight at midnight, so I've got to prepare my ritual bath.

Love, J.C.