Hollywood Royalty..... ([info]joancrawford) wrote,
@ 2003-06-14 03:15:00
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Current mood: enraged

I'M JOAN CRAWFORD, AND I'M MAD AS HELL! DAMN MAD! My codswalloping LESBIAN of a daughter Christina was arrested last night for COPULATING with a HAM SANDWICH while serving JURY DUTY!

Now if you'll all excuse me, I've got to go have a brazillian bikini wax before I go and pay the little fop's bail money. Next time, I'm letting her rot in the hole... and I'm not talking about the one under the basement cupboards!


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[info]secretime
2003-06-14 10:20 am UTC (link)
You should send that decadent little twat off to a Thai sweatshop or a pediphilic sex club in Bangkok to teach her a lesson. That's how my parents always handled disciplining me!

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Re:
[info]joancrawford
2003-06-14 06:58 pm UTC (link)
You're right... a nice vacation in Cambodia or South Korea might set the little twit straight. Any poor Asian country will do, really. OR, I could just sew her labia shut with a rusty railroad spike.

Love, J.C.

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[info]tinacrawford
2003-06-17 10:06 am UTC (link)
How about I nail-gun your blown out beef flaps together? Or how about I tell everyone the real reason why you dont have any REAL children?! HMMMM? IT'S BECAUSE HER SHIT IS TOO LOOSE AND EVERYTIME SHE GOT PREGNEAT, THE FETUS WOULD FALL OUT BEFORE THE SECOND TRIMESTER! HAHAHAHA, I'm a start calling you Beefaroni, you

HORRIBLE

excuse for an actress! You can't even act!

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[info]joancrawford
2003-06-17 07:20 pm UTC (link)
DAMN YOU!!! YOU PUSTULENT WARTHOG!! I SHALL SPLAY YOUR PRIVATES AND FILL THEM WITH ROAST BEEF PITAS, YOU TWO BIT BACKSTREET OKLAHOMA SLATTERN!!!

Love,
Mommie Dearest

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[info]tinacrawford
2003-06-17 10:00 am UTC (link)
Pediphilic sex club in Bangkok?! Hell, I'M THERE!
"RORATOR," says my tight lil' girl pussy

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[info]mantis_in_lace
2003-06-14 03:18 pm UTC (link)
nice to hear from you again joan! send that litle cunt to a wire hanger factory so she can make them for you to beat her with.

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[info]joancrawford
2003-06-14 06:56 pm UTC (link)
What a brilliant plan! I can demoralize her AND beat the crap out of her in one earth-shattering blow! I'll have to talk this over with L.B...

Love, J.C.

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[info]tinacrawford
2003-06-17 10:13 am UTC (link)
Ugh, give it up, hell hound.. LB don't want you no more. Remember? He just asked you yesterday to--"LEAVEMETRO!" So just get over it.. and LEAVEMETRO. By the way, theres a liquor store to the right...

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Re:
[info]joancrawford
2003-06-17 07:16 pm UTC (link)
I should have known you'd know where to find the BOYZZZ AND THE BOOZE!

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[info]tinacrawford
2003-06-17 10:11 am UTC (link)
Please, squirrel, how 'bout I jamb a wire hanger in your cunt and rip out your ovaries? With a face like that and eyebrows that even make my mother shudder, you just should NOT be breeding. K THX BI ;-)


Tina Crabford

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[info]mary_fisher
2003-06-17 10:22 am UTC (link)
Dayum Tina, you weren't jokin, were you? Ronald McDonald would be jealous of this hooker's eyebrows. My advice-- Chill out on the Nads. It ain't attractive no more to be using grease paint either.

DRAGQUEEN!

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